Our journey through life with hemiplegic cerebral palsy and infantile spasms

Monday, January 14, 2013

I could do without Witch

If you've been following me, then you'd know about my chit chat with the lady at the grocery store. This is similar.... but it's worse, much worse. Are you dying to know yet? My blood still boils when I think about it.

A couple of weeks ago I had someone say some pretty hurtful things to me. One word in particular that irks me every time I hear it. For the sake of identity let's just call this person Witch. ;-) 
Karsen and I were out running errands when I ran into an old coworker who I hadn't seen for a while. Our conversation started with the usual small talk, and then she asked me how Karsen was doing. "He's doing great! Seizure free for 6 months." 
The question that came of her mouth after was just the tip of the ice berg. "So, is he retarded?" Yep, that's right. She asked THAT. Oh, how that word makes me so mad. I was so shocked but still determined to explain to Witch how clearly ignorant she is. 
"Well, I'm not really quite sure what you mean by that, but we aren't sure if he is cognitively impaired or not yet. We are grateful he is alive, well, and so happy" So, I thought that would be the end of it. 
I thought wrong. "Oh, that's good..." I don't think she really was paying attention to my response. "...because we have enough retards in this world. We don't need anymore." I still to this day don't have any words for Witch. I think I am still in shock that someone would say that. The conversation went on for about 5 more minutes about how she would abort her baby if her doctor told her it was retarded, and how retards are the people that are murders and kill other people. Yep, I stood there for all of that. I didn't even attempt to say anything back. I just said good bye and walked away. When I got in my car I didn't know what to feel. I was mad, hurt, sad, shocked. The reality is, people are uneducated. They make rude, off hand comments with out thinking about what is really coming out of their mouth. I guess in some situations some people just flat out don't care if they are hurting anyone. I even remember Witch, at one point, saying "I know I'm not politically correct, but what else do I call them?". Really?! There are enough of YOU in this world, we don't need anymore witches. 

The biggest thing I realized after this little event, is people don't even know what the word retard means. (I even hate typing it.) If you're curious you can even look up the exact definition here. For any mother of a special needs child that word hurts. When I hear people use it so casually it makes me cringe. Again, I am not perfect and also used this word causally (past tense, I don't anymore). Using the word to talk about someone you don't like, or a homework assignment, or a companies policy. Are you following me? 

So, please replace that word in your vocabulary. Don't use it so casually, and don't use it to insult someone. My words to replace it? Ridiculous, absurd, not cool, or awful. 

What are your replacement words? 

3 comments:

  1. just finished reading this and noticing my heart is pounding and I'm frowning and feeling so so so protective of u..and Karsen!
    I would've made a scene.
    You handled it the right way. Clearly, there is a reason God gave Karsen to you . You are the patient, understanding, brave, fighter mom that has better things to do than scream at uneducated ignorant people in public places.
    I admire you , I really really do.
    There should be more if YOU and less of.. Witch.

    Big hug. Sorry u had to endure that "test". Just plain awful.

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  2. Oh Lord have mercy! I am glad that she encountered you and not me.

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  3. If by "retarded" she means "handicapped", well then she's simply ignorant and insensitive. If what she meant was "stupid", which it seems to be the case because she goes on to say how there are enough of those people in the world, then she truly is one of them. I'm sorry you had to encounter than kind of garbage, people like her are shallow and she couldn't begin to understand the love and selflessness for another human that you have learned as Karsen's Mom.

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