No choice but to adapt

I asked a fellow CP mommy to guest blog for me. I've been reading her blog since the start of our rocky start. She's one incredible strong mama, she blows me away and inspires me to be a stronger, better mom. Enjoy!

When I was pregnant I had the same dreams of any first time mom when I thought of my little one. A full term delivery, all the milestones, and a perfect baby. It never crossed my mind that all I had hoped for would be taken away and we would be thrown into a completely different path. I had Brayden at 28w1d and he weighed 2lbs 14oz. He was tiny but he was alive. The NICU quickly became our new life and went into survival mode. We gave up our dog so we could live by the hospital, Derek took a leave of absence from work, and I went on unemployment. Almost as soon as we started to get used to the NICU being our new normal, Brayden got really sick. We almost lost him. After he healed we started hearing things like brain bleeds, brain damage, and long term disabilities. It was devastating to think my perfect child would be special needs. The child I had wanted, the child I thought we had, had essentially died. I had to grieve the loss of that child in order to move on. Now grieving is a process and sometimes I still feel that loss two years later, it comes and goes.

After 5 months in the hospital (NICU and PICU), 3 rounds of meningitis, 5 brain surgeries, and a few nights we almost lost B, we finally got to bring him home for good. His body had been through a lot and his brain had taken a huge hit with all the infections. His MRI's were scary looking and the DR's weren't sure of his abilities. It was a miracle he was even alive. And frankly it was a miracle my husband and I survived all this as well. I think you just get into 'go' mode and you do whatever is necessary to be there for your child and keep them safe. You have no choice but to adapt.

Now Brayden is a happy 2 year old. He has been diagnosed with Epilepsy, Scoliosis, and Cerebral Palsy. He has severe delays and will be special needs his whole life. A lot of the worst case scenarios we were give have happened.

With that said, B is the happiest, smiley-est kiddo with the biggest personality. We have embraced his special needs, educated ourselves, advocated for him, and put him out there into the world instead of hiding him away. If you let him in your heart he will surely steal it and expand it. Being his mom has taught me so much about life and love. He's not the child I ever expected to have but he has ended up being more than I could have ever wanted. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

 Heather Helvey
Live.Love.Laugh.

You can read all about Heather and her super sweet B here.