Our journey through life with hemiplegic cerebral palsy and infantile spasms

Thursday, May 3, 2012

"Welcome to Holland"

"Welcome to Holland"

I the other day and thought I would share it. Its so perfect for so many different situations. I hope it touched you as much as it touched me.

"Welcome to Holland"


by Emily Perl Kingsley


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says,

"Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.

It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say 
"Yes, that's where I was supposed to go.

That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

5 comments:

  1. I really like that. Karsen is so lucky to have such wonderful parents.

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  2. I love this analogy! :) Its soo easy for us to compare and not enjoy our lives as much as we could, but really being a mom to a child with a disability is such a blessing. The little milestones that they pass are HUGE in our eyes whereas other kids milestones are just milestones. We grow to appreciate our little ones so much more even through the trials. I love love love this article and will definitely continue to reread it in the future. We need remindings like this sometimes and I couldn't put it any better way than this. :)

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  3. Found you via YouTube. My son has IS and may also have CP. Thank you so much for posting this. I really needed to hear this today. *Hugs*

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    1. Is your son seizure free yet? So glad you found me. This is my favorite. I read it often.

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