Bad blogger

I have completely neglected my blog. I normally find time in the day to squeeze in a quick post, but right now any time I have free is spent sleeping. I have got to have the records worst sinus infection. I have been feeling crummy for the pat two weeks and finally bit the bullet to go to rapid care to see a doctor. I don't have insurance, hence why I waited so long. Boy am I glad I went. My sinus infection is so bad I as getting full blown aches, nausea, and an intense amount of sinus pressure. I'm still not even close to feeling normal, but I just started my antibiotics. I'm so grateful for modern medicine.

Not only have I been under the weather, so has Karsen. He seemed like he was just starting to feel better one day and the next day he was really bad again. We are going on over three weeks of being sick. I'm tired of quarantining myself and my boys. I miss my friends. :-( Karsen has an appointment tomorrow so we can make sure he doesn't have a sinus infection. To be honest part of me is hoping it is. That way we can get him on some mess, start feeling better and get back to life. We have missed many pt, Ot and group therapy visits because of the non stop stickies in my house. I'm ready to get back to our norm of crazy.

I'll leave you with this picture of my sweet boy in the tub, his favorite time.

Clinging

Today, I cling tight to God. I didn't expect to feel as emotional about today as I have been. I woke up, feeling like I do ever Valentines day 'Great, another fabulous Valentines Day. I just love this holiday'. If you can't tell, that is major sarcasm. I hate Valentines day, I always have. I'm not really quite sure why I hate it. Growing up, my mom always gave my sister and I a little something every year. In fact, one year in particular I remember getting a cute coffee mug full of candy. How awesome is my mom?! But yet I still hate it. I always wondered if my hatred toward it came from always being single on that specific day (until I met my husband). But truthfully, I think it's because today you are "forced" to show your love for you loved one. I would much more appreciate flowers, chocolate (although right now that would sabotage my diet), a piece of jewelry on any other day of the year. It means so much more than 'Oh shoot! I have to get flowers for my wife because everyone else is, and if I don't she'll be so mad' Really?! Is that really what this holiday should be like? OK. Enough about my disliking of Valentines day. 

This year brings a whole new meaning to Valentines day for us. Today marks one year from Karsen's diagnosis of CP. As I was making breakfast this morning, I got a text that broke down my walls. If you haven't followed me from the beginning, here is where you can read my story about last years Valentines. like I said before, I didn't expect to feel so shaken by today. I expected the day to pass like any other. So, today I cling to God. Today, I am grateful for our journey, to where we have gotten. One year has changes our lives so much from hearing the words stroke, brain damage, cerebral palsy, seizures, infantile spasms. It has made me a stronger person, a stronger mom, a stronger wife, a stronger friend, and a stronger christian. God has blessed me and my family with an overwhelming amount of amazing people. People that have helped me through some really rough times, people that prayed for me when I myself didn't know I needed prayer. So, yes today makes me appreciate my life, appreciate my two beautiful boys and amazing husband. While at the same time, I mourn the inability for Karsen to walk with out a limp, to use his left hand with out effort, the endless appointments he'll always have, the stares from strangers and teasing from other kids. It breaks my heart the struggles I have seen him endure, and it hurts me to know there is much more. I also know he can handle it. He is one tough cookie. I hope and pray that I am a good enough mother. I hope and pray that I can teach him to show people his heart and look on the inside. I hope and pray he can find the joys of life others also find. I hope and pray I am enough.  I hope and pray Karter (Karsen's older brother) grows up with the knowledge of compassion, and humility, while being the example to his peers, heck even adults. I hope and pray to be good enough, to raise these children the way God intends me to. I hope and pray I can continue to follow God's plan and set mine aside, to constantly cling to Him.

I received a text this morning that broke down my walls. I thought I'd share with you. From one of God's beautiful daughters: **1 year. One year of you being the strongest woman I've ever known. 1 year of you inspiring me to be half the incredible mom you are. 12 year of my faith being strengthened by watching Karsen overcome obstacles we didn't know possible. Thank you. I hate today, but reflecting on it; I'm thanking God. 1 year Jaimie. You continues to amaze me and inspire me. Happy anti-valentines day. I love you!!!!** How blessed am I to have her in my life?!

So, as my dear friend and sister in God said " Happy Anti-Valentines day!"

Taken one year ago today.

New pediatrician

On Thursday, we got to our appointment early. I wanted to make sure I was there early to fill out all the paper work. 

It didn't start out so great. Sat in the waiting room filling out the "does your child do this" form, boy was that heart wrenching. Pretty much checked no to all of the questions, maybe two or three were yes. :-( Got seated in our room and proceeded to wait 10 minutes. OK, no big deal, you always wait in the doctors office. In comes the pediatrician apologizing for the wait. She was spending the last 30 minutes reading Karsen's chart and decided it would be better if she just came in and talked to us. Wow, I was already starting to like her. She has me a long list of questions of ALL of Karsen's history. When we got to the topic of medications and vaccines, I warned her that I was a little bit of a hippy. I mean common, my child is in cloth diapers for crying out loud, if that doesn't scream granola I don't know what does. She then responded "Oh, we'll get along great, I'm a total hippy". I was in love. ha I know funny. But you likely know what it's like to have a good relationship with your child's doctor and well.... I was in love. :-) We went over everything. I mean EVERYTHING. She called his neuro, while we were there, to go over his head measurements and a few other things. She checked out the nasty drool rash Karsen had and had a list of suggestions for after it clears up to keep it away (all natural ways of course). We also talked about how Karsen is sick ALL the time, at least once a month. There may be a connection to his constipation issues. Which he has always had. When people are always constipated it can back all the way up to their colon, which can make it near impossible to absorb nutrients. So, we are trying to tackle his constipation issue first, starting him on the biggest baddest probiotic out there.... (It was no joke expensive, thanks again for the fundraiser) and let's hope he clears up and stays healthy. We had a list of blood work to be done to test for a bunch of different possibilities for the constipation also. Lastly, we figured out a vaccine schedule that she and I were both happy with. She was amazing! She spent well over and hour and a half with us, I thought she was leaving another patient waiting, turns out she went into her lunch with us. AMAZING!

 

It was a very good appointment. Couldn't have asked for a better day.... well except for the part where it took three attempts to draw blood, which resulted in us leaving to come back today to make a fourth attempt. Poor little guy.