Don't get me wrong, being Karsen's mom is a huge blessing, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't change a thing. This isn't my plan, it never was. I had a much different path planned, with much different outcomes. Even though I have questioned God's plan constantly and still do quite often, I know that I am where am I suppose to be. I have met so many amazing people because of Karsen. I see life through a different light, a way that wouldn't have been possible with out Karsen. This road has gotten me some beautiful places, I've also seen some ugly, and has never been straight and smooth. While I'd love to sit here and say that I take in each day as a blessing, I can't. I am human, I am flawed, I have a hard time seeing the beauty in such ugly moments and that is just ok. So, while today left me feeling worn down and exhausted, tomorrow is a new day.
I'm thankful for the support I have gotten in these frequent rough days and continue to pray for patience and guidance with Karsen (and Karter).
I told my friend not too long ago, when she was having one of those weeks, that God wants us on our knees because He knows that's when we'll lean on him. Truth people. So here I am, on my knees, been here for three years and have held on for this beautifully ugly ride.
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