We never know how we got to this spot, those hardships, those challenges. We never know the outcome, whether good or bad, but it is all a part of God's plan. No where in my life did I ever think "I think I'll have a child with cerebral palsy someday", never did that ever cross my mind. Even in the beginning of Karsen's life, it still didn't even jump on my radar. I still have days where I think "this can't be the plan God had in mind for me" but it is. This life, this journey, these challenges are what I was meant to live. Your life, your journey, your challenges are all apart of God's beautiful plan. Now trust me, I constantly struggle with trying to understand the purpose. The purpose my son has to struggle to learn to even crawl, the purpose my oldest son doesn't get to play with his younger brother like most siblings can, the purpose of the non stop appointments. The truth is we will never understand purpose, we aren't suppose to.
I write this today with a heavy heart. My best friend, who's 3 year old has development delays, was just told her son has a brain tumor (which is the cause of his delays). Josh is the sweetest, most loving, cuddly 3 year old I have ever met. Brittany, who is really more of a sister, is a mother of three boys, 5 year old, 3 year old, and 6 weeks old. She is one amazingly strong person, in fact amazing just doesn't even describe the type of person she is. She's strong both inside and out, beautiful both inside and out, smart, loving, compassionate, humble, strengthening, oh I could do this all day. She has helped me through some very hard times. She was there when I found out about Karsen's cp, she was there when I had to quit work, she has seen the most ugly of times I've been through, we have an unspoken bond no one else could ever understand. God made no mistake putting her in my life. She is a friend to many, which is no surprise, she has a heart of gold, and is brutally honest (that's why I love her). Her husband, who is freakishly like mine, both personality and that darn fast metabolism, also has a heart of gold and is so sweet and loving to his boys, he is quite a father. They both love my kids as their own, and were never scared of Karsen's diangosis (sounds weird but people truly are). They are dear to my heart. I know God gave Brittany and Jimmy these three precious boys because He knew they were the perfect mom and dad for them. God makes no mistakes. I do not know what is to come next for this family, only God does. All I can do is be there for them like they were there for me and my family.
These rough roads traveled may seem so hard and unmanageable, but when the fog lifts, boy what a beautiful life. What a honor and a privileged we have to live and breath each day. What a gift our beautiful children are. Embrace it, hug your kids, hug your husband, heck hug your dog or cat, be thankful you're alive. Today is one more perfectly crazy day you get to live(and yes, my life is perfectly crazy). Don't waste it, don't waste your time, don't live in regret, live in today. So, in these hard, challenging, heavy days I don't live in regret, I don't focus on the anger or sadness, I cling to hope, I cling to God, I pray.
Please pray for our sweet little friend, Josh. Pray for guidance and strengthen for both him and his family. Pray for the beauty to shine through and God's peace to lay upon them.
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